1981 BMW R80 GS - 6-Page Vintage Motorcycle Road Test Article for Sale

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1981 BMW R80 GS - 6-Page Vintage Motorcycle Road Test Article For Sale

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1981 BMW R80 GS - 6-Page Vintage Motorcycle Road Test Article:
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1981 BMW R80 GS - 6-Page Vintage Motorcycle Road Test Article
Original, vintage magazine advertisement / article.Page Size: Approx. 8" x 11" (21 cm x 28 cm)Condition: Good
BMW R80 G/SRiding to the beat of a different Beemer.BY TED WESTThe man who buys a BMW R80 G/Sbecause it’s “exactly the bike for hisneeds” is one of three things. He’s a case-hardened all-terrain cross-continent map-buster, or he’s a canny dual-'purpose rider... or he’s an unmitigated fool.Consider for a moment what the R80G/S body language says. It’s some kind ofdirt bike—one look at the shoulder-heightfront fork makes that clear. Same with the21-inch front wheel, the MX-style plasticfront fender, the belly-mounted bashplate, the shark-tooth pegs, the Metzelertrials-universal tires. All still clear.But look closer and things start gettingwonky. First, there’s a great hulking 800ccboxer engine suspended inside—and out-side—the engine bay. And on the frontaxle is a 10.2-inch disc brake, hydraulic, noless. Stand next to this BMW “dirt bike”and things get even stranger. Seen in pic-tures, the G/S could be any size at all—maybe they just stood a midget next to itfor photography—but in real life there areno excuses left. The G/S isn’t merely tall,it’s thick, lumpy, massive. Struggle itshefty 405 pounds forward off the center-stand and you know beyond all doubt. Ifthis was meant to be a serious dirt bike,Mighty Joe Young was meant to ride it.But this is a Beemer, after all. Perhapsbeneath its gawky mock-dirt appearancelies yet another superb road machine.A press of the starter button leads to aride around the block, during which the G/S feels pretty good. After all, it might belard-butt heavy for dirt, but by any and allmodern street standards, this is one leanmachine. And the sheer wheel travel af-forded by the dirt-style suspension soaksup bad pavement and potholes like God’sOwn Household Sponge. Combine thiswith the G/S’s pleasingly quick steering—-thanks, again, to its quasi-dirt specs—andyou have a marvelous around-town er-rand-hopper.Surely, though, BMW hasn’t produced a$4800 dual-purpose bike solely to get youfrom the North Side to the South Side viathe shortcut dirt path through the CityDump. No indeed. In fact, despite first ap-pearances, confusing, impractical and lim-ited as they seem, the R80 G/S is one of themost ruthlessly practical and un-limitedmotorcycles we’ve ever run across. To un-derstand why, though, we have to start atthe beginning.It’s easy for American riders to forgetwhat the Real World is made of. We’vecome to believe that all motorcycling fallsinto two distinct categories—flawlesspavement and lawless dirt. Oh sure, thereare still some riders who believe dual-pur-pose bikes aren’t a complete waste ofGreen Stamps. In normal American dirtvs. street riding, however, dual-purposebikes too often prove to be unsatisfactory-compromises on both surfaces.But don’t be too smug, purist. There areroads in the world where dual-purposeriders have it nailed. Roads where yourdirt bike isn’t allowed and two minutes onyour street bike is like living in poison oakunderwear. Roads thousands of miles longwhere you encounter every imaginable sur-face, from smooth pavement, to frost-heaves, to ankle-deep dust, hip-deep pot-holes, pea gravel, walnut gravel, baseballgravel, mud, slime, slurry the consistencyof hot peanut butter ...Not to beat around the bush, we rodethe R80 G/S over the archetypal dual-pur-pose testing ground—from Los Angeles upthe Alaska Highway (above described) toAnchorage and back. After 6000 miles, thepoint was indisputable—for all-terraintouring no bike anywhere in the worldcompares with the R80 G/S. Period.In fact, if there’s a difficulty about theG/S, it isn’t with the bike itself, but withthe sheer unconventionality of its mission.To begin, even by dual-purpose standards,the G/S breaks the mold. Unlike all butone other d-p bike (the Moto-MoriniCamel), this Beemer is descended fromstreet stock. A short blast up a twistypaved canyon—not to mention an tzn-paved one—will make the point. No mat-ter how loudly its appearance clammers tothe contrary, the G/S is more or less tradi-tional Beemer fun on tarmac. Its hearty800cc twin throbs with robust low- andmidrange torque, and thoseodd Metzeler trials-universaltires hang on like an uglysister at the beach.The tires, incidentally, areworthy of special mention.Metzeler spent an entire yeardeveloping them specificallyto provide this motorcyclewith dual-purpose rubberspeed-rated at over 100 mph,since existing trials-universaltires were all non-rated. Andhustling these little pentago-nal knobbies over the tarmacat speed demonstrates thatthe year wasn’t wasted.The G/S’s front disc in-stantly justifies itself on pave-ment, of course. It won’t pullthe dental work out of yourhead at full-stop—but then, ifit did, it would be outrighthazardous on the dirt. Com-promises of this sort are es-sential on dual-purpose bikes,but for the G/S’s projecteduses, the disc is ideal. On amotocross course a drumbrake might be well and good,but in conditions encounteredon the Alaska Highway there would’vebeen whole weeks when a drum brake wasjust sodden, ineffectual dead weight. Thedisc, on the other hand, in all conditions,was always there.Another example of the inevitable dual-purpose compromise is the G/S’s ridingposition. Clearly, without fitting dual setsof foot controls, there is no way to keep arider comfortably leaned down on theInterstate, then securely upright horsingthe G/S through the dirt. And equallyclearly, there is no way to horse this bikethrough mud and slime lying down. Inev-itably, therefore, the G/S was given the up-right dirt-riding position. Rightly so.However, hustling up the aforesaidtwisty canyon road you’ll feel distressinglyflat-footed and up-in-the-wind on the G/S,somewhat in the mold of the legendaryCushman scooter. And blasting down theInterstate at 75 hour after hour, you’ll takethe worst battering since Leon Spinks metSpiderman. Consequently, the passengerpegs do frequent duty as freeway pegs.The minute you take the G/S onto dirt,though, you begin to understand the es-sence of compromise. Not to put too fine apoint on it, the G/S is only marginally com-petent in rough stuff. Dependable, yes.Sure-footed, yes. But awesomely caution-inspiring as well. Bite from the Metzelersin dirt can best be described as “oresent.”And in muck or deep dust the tire’s narrowprofile, combined with the G/S’s massiveweight, digs to the bottom of things in ahurry. In this kind of riding, sitting wellback on the G/S’s saddle is criticallyimportant. Oh, yes—and riding so verygently.But don’t misunderstand: This bike willwhip any street bike in the muck, and it’lltake you just about any place you’d sanelywant to go, pavement or dirt. In fact, that’sthe point. The R80 is neither berm-busternor cafe-racer, it's far simpler than that—perhaps far simpler than we over-spe-cialized modern riders are prepared to ac-cept. The R80 G/S is one thing alone, aGet-There Bike. It’ll go nearly anywhere inrelative safety and comfort, and thetougher and more varied the route, themore the G/S likes itAccordingly, BMW has worked hard tokeep things simple on this bike. The heartof the G/S, of course, is the bog-standard...16902-AL-8111-09